| Hey look! I made an entry! |
[16 Apr 2009|12:06am] |
For some reason stumbling across the vast number of old entries in an old livejournal has compelled me to do the unthinkable... Update.
I've also been forced to reach the conclusion that I am a far more eloquent writer than I was 4 years ago. Rather, I use far fewer emoticons than I did before.
Too bad I've now managed to get myself all worked up to make this AMAZING entry but I haven't the slightest clue what to write about. I guess there's school; I could totally write about school. Yeah. School. Whoo.
Actually to be completely honest school is wonderful still. Last semester after I had switched to the San Francisco Academy of Art University (henceforth referred to as AAU) I've been having a lot more fun. Well, this semester at least (sorry but online classes really don't do it for me) is going over really well so far. I've managed to make quite a few new friends and my art is visibly improving as time goes by (audface.deviantart.com/ lolselfpromotion) which is really motivating for me.
I feel though that some of the harshness of KCAI is still within me though; for instance I'm probably harsher when it comes to critiques than most other students. But at the same time I work really hard now because I don't want to ever receive another harsh critique again. I gave up online gaming (Well, most gaming to be honest though I did have a weekend filled with breath of fire 3 about two weeks ago!) and I don't regret it in the slightest since I am so busy with school. I wish I had more time to do stuff with Melanie and Sam though, feel like I haven't seen those girls in months once again. Yet I see Eric pretty often which is strange considering he lives in Berkeley and it's really quite out of the way for either of us to hang out with the other.
...Ok really just go look at the art stuff I have nothing really interesting to write. WHICH MAKES ME FEEL KIND OF PATHETIC BUT WHATEVER. It's not that my life isn't interesting just it's not interesting to anyone who isn't me (I mean honestly? Who REALLY wants to hear about what I do everyday in art school. Come on now.)
On a final few notes though...
Today I was disowned by my own mother for beating her high score in idracula. :( I am deeply saddened. Then, speaking of my mom, Holly my mom tells me you have some crazy plans involving me, my birthday, a gay bar and karaoke. Do tell, I'm intrigued. (Hell, I even got Eric to promise to go with us though I think he's going cause of the gay bar part him being gay and all, he said something about killing me if he was involved in a stage or singing at any point in time. I worry about my friendship with him, it's so violent and threat filled at times!)
Yeah. That's pretty much it. Cool.
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[29 Dec 2008|10:11am] |
There's something very wrong about my Oral surgeon being named Joy Wang.
At least she appreciated my joke about moving to England over getting my wisdom teeth taken out (NO OFFENSE TO ANY ENGLANDERS BUT I WILL ADMIT SOME HAVE REALLY BAD TEETH. You all have hot enough accents to make everyone forget it though ;D)
I have to get my wisdom teeth taken out the 8th ;_______; sighhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. They gave me valium to take I think because I was just -that- nervous in the office. I AM SCARED ALRIGHT. GOD.
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| Update I guess! |
[18 Dec 2008|05:47am] |
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So I promised an entry didn't I?
I guess a brief synopsis of life lately would be the best way of going about this. Let's see... Big changes...
Firstly, I'm back in California for good now after deciding that the Kansas City Art Institute was not the right place for me. I'm now attending the San Francisco Academy of Art University as an illustration major instead. I stuck to taking online courses for the past semester on account of not quite finding myself ready to be back with a bunch of students on a daily basis, plus it was easier to get settled back into living at home again doing such.
So for the most part that's gone pretty well. I intend to take classes on campus this upcoming semester, should be an interesting change especially with the daily travel to San Francisco for it. Do I miss Kansas City? Yes, I miss my friends and I miss the freedoms that came with living by myself as well. In the same instance I was pretty miserable there and a lot of people who kept in close contact with me did take notice of it so I was well supported in my decision to leave finally.
Aside from that not a ton has happened in the past year I guess. I got diagnosed with a kind of odd disease (poly cystic ovarian syndrome for anyone whose curious) and that's really about it.
Past few weeks have been interesting though, I partially blame (and say thanks as well!) to Meg for this. She invited me to go see the movie Twilight over Thanksgiving break and due to a rule my mom has kept up for ages (Don't see a movie before you've read the book) I got the book and sat down to read it before Meg's visit arrived. Then I got really sucked into the entire series (There's a pun in that sentence I didn't actually mean for it to be there though! Neat.) and probably slept a total of 10 hours over the course of 4 days due to reading. (Side note: Don't give me shit about reading and liking the books and movies I've heard enough about it so far it's really a "To each their own" situation.)
Then when it was finished I felt unsatisfied with a lot of things and kept looking for new material to read. Found myself up the entire night reading a book about Zombies (The Forest of Hands and Teeth for the curious minds) and then not bothering to keep up any contact with most people for a few days. I finally got called by Jon due to him Raquel and Cait thinking I had died or something.
Since then though it's like something changed inside of me, the creative slump I had been in for the past two years finally began to lift itself. I found myself reading more than spending time online doing mindless things like reading forums or playing games. I found myself wanting to actually do something creative for the first time in several years. Since then I've found myself drawing more, reading more, even writing and putting consideration into taking piano lessons.
So I guess the point of this entry is to say that while there's not a lot of exciting things going on (except for the occasional kidnapping by Eric where I get suckered into going to swing dancing classes or some other ridiculous thing) I feel better off now than I have in a few years. There's no startling romance in my near future, nor has there been for over a year now and I feel comfortable with that where I haven't in the past. I don't go out all that often since most of my friends have moved away and sadly with online classes you don't really make friends. But despite that I feel quite content with everything.
I want to continue to be creative, with the drawing and the writing especially. I've found myself writing for the first time in who knows how many years due to these incredibly vivid dreams I've had as of late. It seems like with every one of them I'm actually intrigued enough to want to make something of it. I've been doing the one good lesson I took away from KCAI which was keeping a dream journal of sorts to remember each dream by. Latest one was pretty interesting so I think I'll actually consider making a story out of it.
I HAVE ALSO READ 10 BOOKS IN LESS THAN FOUR WEEKS. This was after not reading at all for about two years. I'm excited, my mom's paycheck isn't so excited. Teehee. :3
Anyways, I just wanted to post a general update for the sake of never doing such. Don't expect anything else for a while, I'm really rather lazy with this entire livejournal thing. (Hell, I barely keep up with just READING them!)
I also realllllly need to get new user icons or something. Maybe a layout. Someday. (Don't hold your breath, I don't do any of these easily haha... :()
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[14 Dec 2008|05:30am] |
Meg. Go online sometime and harass me to update this at least like once. <3 Also wow my display pic is two years old now, how depressing. MY HAIR IS ALSO INCREDIBLY SHORT AND STRAIGHT IN THAT PICTURE HOLY FUCK.
I should post some of my doctor horror stories. :]
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[27 Oct 2008|01:23am] |
Hi. I am not dead just yet! And no, I will probably not make an actual update anytime soon seeing as how it would go against my lazy non posting nature. (It's crazy to think that at one point in time I actually updated this actively O_o!)
On another note I shall leave you all with a drawing and matching signature I did for my friend Matt [:!
http://homepage.mac.com/paigeluther/.Pictures/finishedpop.jpg
+
http://homepage.mac.com/paigeluther/.Pictures/mattsig.png
n_n
edit: I think livejournal is trying to say something to me with this "undeadjournal" stuff. I like zombies [: FIDO WAS AN AMAZING MOVIE. Just imagine. A zombie movie... But cute! I want a pet zombie too. ]:
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[25 May 2008|03:34am] |
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Funny how I woke up in the middle of the night at the time I should've gotten a phone call from you saying you were at the airport safely.
I'm going to be honest here though and have small hopes that you read this. I am devastated you didn't come, I can't change that fact, I can't change the fact that over the past week the number of tears I have shed over all of this was comparable to the amount of when a close friend had died. I do want to remain friends but I cannot say that I am completely mature enough to just let this go without any consequence, at least not immediately. Over time I'll find it in myself to forgive you but for now? For now I'm going to need my space. For now I'm going to need to let the wounds from this heal. For now I'm going to need time to grow up a little more and shed more tears to better understand everything.
I'm sorry it's like this, and I know you're probably hurting quite a bit yourself but... I do need the time and space. To love someone such as I did you, it's not to be "in love" in the romantic sense, but the kind where you fully give your heart to someone and trust them to take care of it. I know you tried your hardest here, and I know it wasn't an easy decision for you to make. I didn't want to force your hand in this either; it needed to be yours. But yea...
You are still someone I consider one of my best friends. But you are now like many of the other people I consider to be some of my best friends: Someone whom has hurt me worse than any other.
Time heals all wounds, I'll come to you when enough has passed. This is only because I can't risk saying something to destroy things, I know myself well enough to know how I work and how I lash out easily
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[21 May 2008|12:47am] |
I should really check this thing more often. BUT WHATEVER.
omg4daysomg4daysomg4daysomg4daysomg4daysomg4daysomg4daysomg4daysomg4daysomg4daysomg4daysomg4daysomg4daysomg4daysomg4daysomg4daysomg4daysomg4daysomg4daysomg4daysomg4daysomg4daysomg4daysomg4daysomg4daysomg4daysomg4daysomg4daysomg4daysomg4daysomg4daysomg4daysomg4daysomg4daysomg4daysomg4daysomg4daysomg4daysomg4daysomg4daysomg4daysomg4daysomg4daysomg4daysomg4daysomg4daysomg4daysomg4daysomg4daysomg4daysomg4daysomg4daysomg4daysomg4daysomg4daysomg4daysomg4daysomg4daysomg4daysomg4daysomg4daysomg4daysomg4daysomg4daysomg4daysomg4daysomg4daysomg4daysomg4daysomg4daysomg4daysomg4daysomg4daysomg4daysomg4daysomg4daysomg4daysomg4daysomg4daysomg4daysomg4daysomg4daysomg4daysomg4days
...Can you tell I'm excited for Alex to visit? :D
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[03 Mar 2008|07:37am] |
Not sure how many of you actually ever met my cat but I'm sure there's a few that definitely did; just posting I guess to say Luigi isn't around anymore. He had to be put to sleep last week due to being so old he could barely eat or make it to the catbox anymore. He lived a good long life though and I'm forever grateful to have had him as a pet even if he did get pissy with people after 5 minutes :(
I guess my parents are getting a new cat in a few weeks or something; dunno don't really care :/
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[14 Dec 2007|07:15am] |
To Meg and Brian (Jar not your dad!):
I love you both, but I hereby refuse to hang out with either of you till you're not sick. I swear to fucking all if either of you gets me sick over break there will be hell to deal with (Or at least a lot of whining on my part~)
That being said I go home tomorrow; should be in Cali late tomorrow evening.
<3,
Paige
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[12 Dec 2007|09:42am] |
There's something oddly ironic and morbid about having one's school not entirely believe there's a death in the family and wanting you to bring in proof of it. Guess that's what I get for my mom not being close to her brother so not being mentioned in his obituary, not changing her last name when she got married thus making the connection to me rather... Difficult to say the least.
So going to take over her ID, a card from the funeral, her plane ticket etc. as further proof that, hey! Someone in my fucking family died.
I suppose they must think some of us art students are good enough at photoshop to fake it. It's rather pathetic overall in my opinion.
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[11 Dec 2007|03:42am] |
Life is odd. Semester is almost over. Going home soon for some well needed rest.
Oh yeah; my uncle's funeral is tomorrow. He died of liver cancer last tuesday. Mom's in town for it. I'm not going; I'm not going to get into it as to why.
My twin cousins are pretty cool though; it's weird how the death of their dad is the main reason I've gotten the chance to know them.
And what the fuck is freezing rain? This concept still evades me though classes will most likely be cancelled today (Big whoop since my teachers already cancelled mine today... Guess it means I don't have to slip around trying to get to class though, seriously watch me kill myself via slipping on ice one of these days!)
I must say I truly enjoy Cecelia Ahern's writing. Her books make me actually laugh out loud. It's also 3:45 AM and there's part of me that has no intentions of sleeping until I finish this book. D:
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[07 Dec 2007|07:10am] |
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I love snow. If it cancels classes making life just a LITTLE less stressful for everyone. But no, it just causes it to be annoying to get back and forth from school. Fucking snow.
I also seem to have destroyed my sleep pattern this week; I didn't actually fall asleep till 4 am (LOL FOUR HOURS OF SLEEP OVERALL LAST NIGHT) so I'm almost EXPECTING to crash when I get home from class today. Which is bad. Cause my friends demand I go over for "Taco night" or something.
What is FREEZING RAIN by the way? We're supposed to get some of that today or something? Should I not be driving in it? I don't know to be honest. Never heard of it !
I'm tired, and ready for school to be over honestly this semester was kinda "Meh" overall. Ah well, one more week then I go home on the 15th to... Many more doctor dentist hairdresser whatever appointments that were put off till I got back to Cali; fun shit I swear it.
I guess I should also get in contact with my old employers and 1. Figure out what REALLY happened to my last paycheck and 2. Get a job there again for winter break.
Whee?
Oh yeah, my final if anyone wants to see it:
http://homepage.mac.com/paigeluther/.Movies/Final.mov (if that doesn't work then this one should: http://homepage.mac.com/paigeluther/.Movies/Final.mp4)
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[16 Nov 2007|11:38am] |
So... I'm helping come up with ideas for what to do in Nor Cal for a trip this summer possibly. I have a decent list of what we could do but if anyone can give me any other ideas of what there is to do that's not on my list it'd be greatly appreciated! <3
Boardwalk
Great America
Capitola
Half Moon Bay
San Francisco
Tech Museum
SF Zoo
Monterey Bay Aquarium
Salinas
Childrens Museum of Modern Science (Used to LOVE this place as a kid haven't been in years XD;;..)
San Francisco Bay Aquarium
Castle Rock
Bowling!
SF MOMA
I COULD GIVE YOU GUYS A TOUR OF APPLE COMPUTER MAYBE?! 8D?? lol ._.
Santana Row
Japanese Gardens
Japanese Tea Gardens
Gilroy Garlic areas
Kayaking
Menlo Atherton area (There's a shopping center that has this cool little thing where you glaze stuff and it gets fired and I don't know it was awesome when I was a kid)
Alcatraz
Angel Island
Ferry boats!
There's this place in monterey where you can pick your own strawberries :3
THANK YOU TO ANYONE WHO REPLIES ;O; <333
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[16 Oct 2007|12:43pm] |
So the people at walgreens thought I was like the virgin mary 'cept not a virgin 8D hi there them forcing a pregnancy test on me when I haven't had sex in AGES just cause I lack a period for a few months =(!
I LOL'D GREATLY. :D
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| Overanalyzations of the heart. |
[14 Sep 2007|07:06am] |
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Well, first off... Happy Birthday Meg :) Congrats on no longer being a teenager :P
Second off... I feel like crap today, a possible mixture of I've caught a cold mixed with break ups just sort of suck in general. I feel... Relieved to no longer be with Stephen because, really, I was stressed as fuck dating him since half the time I was honestly just walking around on pins and needles trying not to piss him off.
A friend of mine compared my situation to that of a beaten wife, where I got mistreated and kept thinking "Oh well, if he loves me enough he'll stop doing this" but... They never will. Lesson learned, next time a guy honestly goes out of his way to make me feel like crap it ends right then and there. I should've ended it earlier, I know, but... I did honestly want it to work out.
I feel a sort of sadness and sickness from this due to having let it go on as long as it did. A frustration with myself over not having made the smart decision to call it quits the minute problems started to arise; but maybe some of the foolishness was because in the beginning the problems that were there were logically based off of things I had done. Whereas near the end they really weren't and were based more off the insanity or naivety of his personal social skills.
Overall, he is a good person but; I don't personally feel he's ready for relationships again just yet. I won't hate him because the situation for him has been explained to me before and so not longer after going into the relationship I understood things might be a tad bit bumpy; though definitely not to the extent that they were.
Possible reasonings for why he lost interest assorted to many; but I think it finally came down to the fact that he's unable to feel attached anymore after his last relationship where at it's end he was faced with a girl he had been with for three years threatening to kill both herself as well as him when he showed interest in ending the relationship. This later caused further turmoil with him personally; I am not old enough, not wise enough to possibly try to fix things like that...
And, apart from other personal thoughts on the matter that's really all I have to say about the subject. Yes; I'll be okay. I think I was going to be okay for a while before it actually happened, sadly. I need my time to overanalyze every aspect of the time spent with him probably; and the time to try and make sense of it until I realize when it comes down to it there is no real sense to be made and that it's best to just give up and move on to the next part of my life. But this doesn't mean I don't need some grieving time to dwell upon things.
For today though; I'm going to just take a day for myself and let the emotions kick my ass something hardcore. I might cry, I might just lay there contemplating how I really shouldn't get involved in relationships again; it really just seems to NOT work for me. I just feel sick.
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[13 Sep 2007|04:27pm] |
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So I rarely make entries but I figured I should for once, not to mention my dad apparently reads this so it might be nice for him to have some idea of how I am doing (sorry we don't seem to be able to talk long dad :() so here goes...
School is going well I seem to have made friends in my animation classes which is really encouraging for me. I don't seem to see as much of my old friends mostly due to the separation and time consumption of each of our departments. Its fine though since we all try to make an effort to see one another on weekends. So aside from making new friends my classes are amazing! Aside from philosophy all of them are very intriguing; my inteoduction to animation class taught us how to animate a bouncing ball, my design class is finally teaching me how to use adobe software properly. The teacher for my design class taught, and studied at, Pratt; she is pretty nice. My animation teacher is as well and knows a lot byt has the fault of being unable to put what he is saying into a more precise manner, oh well.
My life drawing teacher is oddly the most interesting and most challenging one of them all, he really seems to want us to capture the energy of the models rather than just their outward appearance. Its been amazing so far working with him despite my initial fear of him due to his want to bring a cadaver in for the entire semester for us to draw. Mind you it would have been both a great learning experience as well as just an interesting experience in its entirety; but the enrire dead body in the same building as 90% of my classes.
My art history teacher is really good she manages to throw in the most ridiculous comments sometimes to catch our attention again.
Aside from that not much else is going on in life right now; I play ragnarok now and then when I have free time and Stephen and I are still working out, somehow and sometimes with great difficulty but I won't go into that. So there I updated, now for another 6 month wait before I update again.
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[11 Jul 2007|02:07am] |
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Life. Where do I even begin?
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[13 Jun 2007|04:38am] |
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;_____; HE IS GOING TO MISS WORK SEGVETSSADFQAWFSAERF STUPID BOY NEEDS TO WAKE UP OMG.
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[13 May 2007|04:21am] |
I've got a lot to rant about but... The nice thing about it is I don't have to do it here anymore.
Much <3 to Branwen and Lizzie for being there for me even if they probably won't ever read this; it's nice to have finally found some really good friends I can count on here. :)
Rant: I'm going to miss Branwen, Lizzie, Jon and Charlie this summer ;_;
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madame_audette's journal
